Conch Street Nonsense draft
Conch Street Nonsense French Narrator: Ah, what a beautiful day. Ze' ocean is nice and full of life. Well.. Almost! There they are, at the Krusty Krab! Squidward: Ah, another day another pickle! Mr. Krabs: You mean another day another dollar! Squidward: Oh c'mon Mr. K! Today's Sunday! You have to give us the day off! This is ridiculous! Mr. Krabs: Hmm! I don't know. It doesn't seem fair in my books but.. Eh, fine! I'll give you lads the day off! But I expect better from you moving forward! walks home and starts relaxing Squidward: Finally! Some peace and quiet and I'm alone in my house! starts playing his clarinet until he's interrupted by a yellow sponge. SpongeBob: Ahoy there, Mateys! Today's Sunday! Squidward! We're gonna be late for work! Squidward: Work?! I don't have time for that. We have a day-off! SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! SpongeBob: Squidward, can't you see? I'm soft! Squidward: Too soft! Obviously because you're an exotic kitchen sponge. SpongeBob: That's really fascinating! I just learned something new! Squidward: You already knew that barnacle-head! SpongeBob: Oh yea! Squidward: I suggest you lay off the Ice Cream for a bit so you don't get as dumb as Patrick. SpongeBob: Ah, Squiddy! You always make me laugh! Squidward: I'M BEING SERIOUS! THIS ISN'T A JOKE FOR GOODNESS SAKE! starts chasing them out of his house like a wild baboon and eventually SpongeBob steps on his clarinet. Squidward: NO! Get off my clarinet you idiot! SpongeBob: Bleh. Oh sorry Squidward! Squidward: Sorry?! That's coming out of your pay check! SpongeBob: Oh! Usually that's Mr. Krabs' line. Hey! You're not Mr. Krabs! Back off Octopus! Squidward: Just get out of my house before I get the full power! Patrick: Oh no SpongeBob! Let's run for our lives! SpongeBob: Good idea! I'd rather go Jellyfishing! Patrick: Yeah! and Patrick go Jellyfishing only to come back to Squidward's house a minute later. Squidward: Ah. Finally some peace and quiet! Now that those hooligans are gone, everything is well at last! and Patrick start knocking on the door. Squidward: GO AWAY! and Patrick break the door down. SpongeBob: We're back! We missed you dearly! Squidward: I'm sorry. Did I speak another language when It old you guys to GO AWAY! Patrick: Fine, I'll go away! SpongeBob: Same! We don't need Squidward! and Patrick go back to their homes. Squidward goes back to dancing, playing the piano, and enjoying the peace until he gets bored. Squidward: Eh, I'm getting kinda bored. I should go pull a prank on those goofy nut heads. Hehe. secretly travels to Patrick's rock and replaces a pillow with a whoopie cushion. Patrick notices the noise and wakes up. Patrick: Oh hi there Squidward! Nice weather we're having! Squidward: Fools! I placed a whoopie cushion as your pillow! Ahe hahaha Patrick: angrily NOBODY PLACES A WHOOPIE CUSION AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! COMEBACK HERE! starts running towards SpongeBob's house with Patrick not far behind. Squidward: Ah Squiddy! Let's make this one count! sticks a sea spider up SpongeBob's nose. SpongeBob wakes up startled. SpongeBob: Ahhhh! Who put that there! Patrick: It was Squidward! Get him! neighbors run out of the house. SpongeBob and Patrick chase Squidward to a nearby fireworks station. Squidward: Out of my way, security guards! I have to launch the rocket and get outta here! Security guard: Wait! Don't push that red button, that fires the.. @everyone except Squidward: FIREWORKS. miraculously pushes the button before everyone finished saying that word. Squidward: Oh boy! Here we go again.. fireworks were launched and lands on Conch Street on all three houses destroying all of the neighbors' homes! Squidward: Not again! That's gonna cost me a fortune! SpongeBob: Want a fortune cookie, Squidward? They might be lucky. Squidward: Okay. Squidward opens the cookie and this is what it says: '"THE END"'